Clive Staples Lewis, better known as C.S. Lewis, is one of the most celebrated Christian writers of the 20th century. But before he wrote classics like Mere Christianity, The Screwtape Letters, and The Chronicles of Narnia, Lewis was an atheist. His journey from disbelief to faith is a compelling story of intellectual wrestling, personal pain, and surprising joy.

Lewis was born in Belfast, Ireland, in 1898. He grew up in a home that was steeped in books and ideas. His mother, Florence, was a mathematician, and his father, Albert, was a lawyer. But tragedy struck early in Lewis's life. When he was just nine years old, his mother died of cancer. Her death shook him to the core, and it was one of the first seeds of doubt that took root in his mind.

In his autobiography, Surprised by Joy, Lewis described how his mother’s death left him feeling abandoned—not just by her, but by God. “With my mother’s death,” he wrote, “all settled happiness, all that was tranquil and reliable, disappeared from my life.”

The Birth of an Atheist

After his mother’s death, Lewis was sent to boarding school. It was a harsh and lonely experience. He felt no connection to the dry, ritualistic faith he was exposed to there. By the time he was a teenager, Lewis had declared himself an atheist. He later recalled telling a friend, “I believe in no religion. There is absolutely no proof for any of them, and from a philosophical standpoint, Christianity is not even the best.”

Lewis’s atheism wasn’t just intellectual; it was deeply emotional. He resented the idea of a God who would allow suffering, particularly the kind of suffering he had experienced as a child. He immersed himself in literature and mythology, finding in these stories a kind of beauty and transcendence that he didn’t see in religion.

Seeds of Doubt

Despite his atheism, Lewis couldn’t entirely escape the nagging sense that there was something more to life. He was captivated by stories and myths that pointed to a higher reality. The Norse myths, in particular, stirred a deep longing in him—a feeling he described as sehnsucht, a German word meaning “longing” or “intense yearning.”

“All my life,” he wrote, “I had been looking for something, some element of mystery or beauty beyond the everyday world.” This yearning didn’t fit neatly into his atheistic worldview. Where did this longing come from, and why did it feel so real?

Friends Who Challenged Him

In 1925, Lewis became a fellow at Magdalen College, Oxford. It was there that he formed friendships with people who would play a significant role in his journey to faith. Chief among them were J.R.R. Tolkien, the author of The Lord of the Rings, and Hugo Dyson, another Oxford scholar.

Tolkien was a devout Catholic, and Dyson was a committed Christian. They challenged Lewis to reconsider his atheism, not with dogma or emotional appeals, but with reason and logic. They argued that Lewis’s love of myths and stories pointed to a deeper truth. If Lewis could find meaning and beauty in these stories, wasn’t it possible that they were reflections of an ultimate reality—a true myth?

One night in 1931, Lewis had a long conversation with Tolkien and Dyson that would change his life. They walked together late into the night, discussing the nature of myths and the Christian story. Tolkien argued that the Gospel was the ultimate myth—a story that was true, rooted in history, and able to transform lives.

“We believe that the story of Christ is simply a true myth,” Tolkien told him. “A myth working on us in the same way as the others, but with this tremendous difference—it really happened.”

The Reluctant Convert

That conversation planted a seed. Lewis began to see Christianity not as a dry set of doctrines, but as a story—a story that made sense of his deepest longings and answered his toughest questions. He realized that his atheism couldn’t fully account for the beauty, joy, and meaning he experienced in life.

Lewis described his conversion as a gradual process. He first moved from atheism to a kind of theism—a belief in a higher power. But he resisted embracing Christianity. He later wrote, “I was the most dejected and reluctant convert in all England. I did not then see what is now the most shining and obvious thing; the Divine humility which will accept a convert even on such terms.”

In 1931, Lewis finally surrendered to God. He described the moment with characteristic honesty and humility: “You must picture me alone in that room at Magdalen, night after night, feeling, whenever my mind lifted even for a second from my work, the steady, unrelenting approach of Him whom I so earnestly desired not to meet. That which I greatly feared had at last come upon me. I gave in, and admitted that God was God, and knelt and prayed: perhaps, that night, the most dejected and reluctant convert in all England.”

What Persuaded Him?

What caused C.S. Lewis to move from atheism to faith? Several factors stand out:

• The Argument from Longing: Lewis’s sense of sehnsucht convinced him that his longing for beauty and transcendence pointed to a higher reality. As he famously wrote, “If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.”
• The Influence of Friends: Tolkien and Dyson didn’t dismiss Lewis’s questions or belittle his doubts. Instead, they engaged with him intellectually, showing him that Christianity was not only reasonable but also profoundly beautiful.
• The Power of the Christian Story: Lewis came to see the Gospel as the “true myth”—a story that fulfilled the deep yearnings he had experienced all his life.
• Reason and Imagination: For Lewis, faith wasn’t a blind leap. It was a rational step based on evidence, combined with the realization that Christianity satisfied both his mind and his heart.

Legacy of Faith

After his conversion, Lewis became one of Christianity’s most influential apologists. His books have touched millions of lives, helping skeptics and believers alike see the reasonableness and beauty of the Christian faith.

But perhaps the most powerful part of Lewis’s story is its honesty. He didn’t pretend that his journey to faith was easy or straightforward. He wrestled with doubt, questioned everything, and only came to faith when he was convinced it was true.

C.S. Lewis reminds us that faith isn’t just about believing the right things; it’s about finding the story that makes sense of your life. For Lewis, that story was the Gospel, the ultimate true myth. And it changed everything.