Sessions Include:

Detours, Lesson #1
Purpose and Pain

Detours, Lesson #2
Pattern and Purifying

Detours, Lesson #3
Proof and Presence

Detours, Lesson #4
Promotion and Plan

Detours, Lesson #5
Pardon and Pleasure

Detours, Lesson #6
Providence and Perfection

Detours, Lesson #7
Perspective and Peace

Two monks were on their way to a particular destination. On their way they had to cross a shallow river to get to where they were going. But when they reached the river, they ran across an elderly, heavyset woman sitting by the bank of the river. She sat there crying, and so the two monks asked her what was wrong. She proceeded to tell them that she was unable to cross the river.

She was too scared to go out in it all alone.

The two monks had sympathy for the elderly lady, and so they offered to carry her across the river. Together they picked her up and proceeded to wade into the water, gently getting themselves and her across to the other side. Once they made it to the other side, the elderly woman thanked them profusely and then went on her way. The two monks continued on to their destination. Yet as they were walking, one of the monks started to complain about the pain in his back. He mumbled, “Wow, carrying that woman across the river was really difficult. Now my back is hurting so bad.”

The other monk answered his complaint with encouragement, “Well, let’s keep going. You can make it.”

“No,” the complaining monk retorted. “I can’t. I can’t go on. Carrying that woman was hard. I’m hurting too bad.” The monk paused and then asked his friend, “Aren’t you hurting too?”

To which the other monk replied, “No, I got rid of her five miles ago.”

A lot of us are failing to reach our destinations because we are still feeling loaded down by the pain of the past. The weight of yesterday continues to weigh us down today, keeping us from moving freely into tomorrow. Nothing—and I mean nothing—will hinder you arriving at your destiny like this thing called unforgiveness. Unforgiveness includes holding on to past pain, past hurts, past grudges—the weightiness of regret, remorse, and revenge. Unforgiveness is that one thing above all else that will block God’s movement in your life taking you from where you are to where you are supposed to go.

When you hang on to the weight of yesterday, it will hinder the progress to tomorrow. Unforgiveness is the critical area that must be addressed if you are going to reach your destiny.

If anyone had a right to be angry, bitter, and to hold a grudge, it was Joseph. Joseph grew up in a dysfunctional family under a dysfunctional father, was dumped in a pit, sold into slavery, unjustly jailed, and then forgotten. If anyone had a right to be angry and to say, “Life is not fair!” it was Joseph. The life of Joseph fills the pages from chapter 37 to chapter 50 of Genesis, so it is obvious that God wanted us to learn from this man. He wanted us to zero in on this man’s life lessons. God gave so much of the first book of the Bible to Joseph because He wanted to show us the key components to living a life of destiny. And one of those critical components Joseph had to grapple with—and that you and I will have to grapple with if we are ever going to get off of our detours and arrive at God’s designed destiny for our lives—is this issue of forgiveness.

Joseph had to face it. He had to deal with it. In fact, we see this acknowledged in Genesis 50:15–17:

When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead, they said to one another, “If Joseph is holding a grudge against us, he will certainly repay us for all the suffering we caused him.”

So they sent this message to Joseph, “Before he died your father gave a command: ‘Say this to Joseph: Please forgive your brothers’ transgression and their sin—the suffering they caused you.’ Therefore, please forgive the transgression of the servants of the God of your father.” Joseph wept when their message came to him.

Joseph’s response lets us know that he had not grown emotionally cold. He had not chosen a life of cynicism in dealing with the pain he faced. He still allowed himself to feel despite the losses that had occurred in his life. He hadn’t cut off the past; rather, he had learned how to view it. He had learned how to accept it in alignment with God’s providence, even though the pain was obviously still there.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean you no longer feel pain.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean you no longer feel pain. Nor does it mean to forget the facts about what happened. Forgiveness means you no longer hold the situation or person hostage for the pain they caused.

Tony Evans, Detours: The Unpredictable Path to Your Destiny (Nashville, TN: B&H Books, 2017), 1–4.

We have just completed a Bible study to guide your group into meditating on and applying these truths. Detours is our Bible Study based on Dane Ortlund's book by the same name. It consists of 7 lessons with ready-to-use questions suitable for groups. It can be purchased on Amazon and is also available as part of Good Questions Have Groups Talking Subscription Service.