Like Glue; Making Relationships Stick, Lesson #4
Good Questions Have Small Groups Talking
www.joshhunt.com

Email your group and ask them to do a little research on what science has learned about volunteering. Googling these three words will get you started: study, happiness, volunteering.

Another idea: email your group and ask them to read the book of Galatians and the introduction to it if they have a study Bible.

Stick with Service / Galatians 5.13 – 15; 6.1 - 10

OPEN

Let’s each share your name and what do you typically do on July4?

DIG

1.       Context. What is the theme of the book of Galatians? Thumb through the pages of this short book. If you have a study Bible, you might look at the intro.

Paul jumped all over the Galatians for allowing a handful of legalistic Judaizers to invade their lives and clip their wings. Remember his rebuke? “It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery. . . . For you were called to freedom, brethren.” (Galatians 5:1, 13).

In other words, “Permission granted.” Enjoy! Go after it! Be who you are. Give yourself the okay to break the mold and exercise your God-given freedom. Chase those goals with all your heart.

It may take awhile. And you will have to train yourself to care less and less about what a few may say. It will help if you’ll remind yourself that when they criticize you, they simply want you to be as miserable as they are. Since they cannot give themselves permission, who do you think you are to get away with it? If you keep that maverick thought in mind, it will help you soar like an eagle instead of standing around with all the turkeys.

Do you know your biggest hurdle?

You.

It’s giving yourself permission, plain and simple. If you fail to press on while the light is green, you will spend so much of your life in the amber zone waiting for “just the right moment.” Christ has literally set you free. — Charles R. Swindoll, Day by Day (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2005).

2.       Jesus promised us an abundant life in John 10.10. What do we learn about that abundant life from this passage?

“If I’m not going to party anymore,” you say, “what am I going to do?” Serve one another! “But I’m so bored.” Serve one another! Pour yourself into people. Get involved in talking to others who are doomed and damned and struggling. You’ll find that talking to them about eternal issues will be more exciting and thrilling than anything you’ve ever done. Get involved in the things of the kingdom, and you won’t miss the old stuff at all. — Jon Courson, Jon Courson’s Application Commentary (Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, 2003), 1205.

3.       What do we learn about freedom from this passage?

In the middle of Oxford University there stands a wonderful building, surrounded by well-kept grass. The building is a library, circular in shape, topped by a great dome. It is beautiful inside and out. People photograph it, paint it, admire it. It is called the Radcliffe Camera.

The grass that surrounds the building used to be protected with high railings—so high, in fact, that unless you were quite tall they would obscure your view of the building itself. During the Second World War, however, the government commanded that ironwork like that be taken away and melted down to make armaments. Suddenly the Radcliffe Camera, and its grass, were free from what (to judge from old pictures) was a rather forbidding barricade. During the 1950s and 1960s, there were small notices requesting people not to walk on the grass. Mostly, people obeyed.

But then, in the 1970s and 1980s, the grass became a favourite spot for tourists to picnic. People would have parties there. Less reputable characters from the town would hang out there, to drink, to beg, and sometimes to threaten passers-by. People in the library found it was getting noisy, and they couldn’t do their work. The grass was so trampled that it became worn out. The whole area no longer looked beautiful; instead, it looked messy and scruffy. Finally, in the late 1980s, the university made a decision: the railings (not so high, fortunately) had to go back. Now, once again, the grass and building are beautiful.

This little tale is all about the use and abuse of freedom. It is one thing to be set free from prison or slavery, and quite another to decide what to do with your freedom when you’ve got it. This is the issue faced by every criminal when released from prison: shall I use my new-found freedom to go and commit more crimes? The fact that you are, in one sense, free to walk on, and even ruin, the grass round a beautiful building doesn’t mean that that is the right thing to do. Freedom from restraint, if it is to be of any use, must be matched by a sense of freedom for a particular purpose. — Tom Wright, Paul for Everyone: Galatians and Thessalonians (London: Society for Promoting Christian Knowledge, 2004), 68–69.

4.       What potential dangers come from freedom?

We are prone to go to extremes. One believer interprets liberty as license and thinks he can do whatever he wants to do. Another believer, seeing this error, goes to an opposite extreme and imposes Law on everybody. Somewhere between license on the one hand and legalism on the other hand is true Christian liberty. — Warren W. Wiersbe, The Bible Exposition Commentary, vol. 1 (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1996), 717.

5.       Do you think that non-Christians think of freedom when they think of Christianity?

“The whole law is fulfilled,” says Paul, “through love.”

Grammatically, the word fulfilled is in the perfect tense. As such it means the whole law has been fulfilled every time one person loves another as himself.

To love my neighbors as less than myself is to treat them as a means to my ends. To love them as more would set them up for using me as a means to their ends. One way is as much a violation of love as the other, and as destructive of freedom. The command protects my freedom as much as yours, yours as much as mine. No one sacrifices freedom at the expense of the other. All become increasingly free. — TRAVELING LIGHT / Eugene H. Peterson, God’s Message for Each Day: Wisdom from the Word of God (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2004).

6.       Galatians 6. Compare verse 2 and 5. Who should carry my load?

There is no contradiction between Galatians 6:2 and 5, because two different Greek words for burden are used. In Galatians 6:2 it is a word meaning “a heavy burden,” while in Galatians 6:5 it describes “a soldier’s pack.” We should help each other bear the heavy burdens of life, but there are personal responsibilities that each man must bear for himself. “Each soldier must bear his own pack.” If my car breaks down, my neighbor can help drive my children to school, but he cannot assume the responsibilities that only belong to me as their father. That is the difference. It is wrong for me to expect somebody else to be the father in our family; that is a burden (and a privilege) that I alone can bear. — Warren W. Wiersbe, The Bible Exposition Commentary, vol. 1 (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1996), 722.

7.       Why is it important that each one carry his own load?

It is my responsibility to keep my cup full. It is my responsibility to find joy, to find peace, to lay hold of the life for which Christ laid hold of me. It is not anyone else’s job to make me happy. That is my job.

It is my job to get enough rest. It is my job to control the stress in my life. It is my joy to cultivate a life of zeal for God. It is my job to read my Bible and pray and let God fill my cup each day. It is my job to pursue a calling that is both useful to others and satisfying to me.

If I ignore this command I become a co-dependent. I assume others will look to my interest as I look to theirs. I become needy, clingy, insecure, negative and overly dependent. I don’t take responsibility for my own life. I don’t carry my own load. (Galatians 6.5)

Love starts with looking after my own interest but it does not stop there. Let each of you look not only to your own interests but also to the interests of others. Imagine a world where everyone took that seriously. — Josh Hunt, Pure Joy, 2013.

8.       What are some practical ways we can bear one another’s burdens?

The people you lead have to know they're part of a burden-carrying team. They have to know there's an avenue for them to convey whatever personal or professional calamity they face. They have to know they can trust their colleagues to hear them out. Simply put, your followers have to know it's legal to admit that while they may be sitting across the conference-room table wearing a smile and a trendy outfit, nothing is fine or fitting quite right on the inside.

An approach I have taken thousands of times over the years is to set aside the first few minutes of my weekly senior leadership team meeting to get a read on each person's emotional state. I'll say something like, “Gang, we're going to spend the next three or four hours together working on some big issues that face our church. But before we dive into the tasks at hand, I'd like to go around the circle and have each of you answer the question, ‘How are you doing … really?’ I know you all look great, but are you really doing great? Give the rest of us a minute or two of insight into that question, and then we'll tackle the business issues we need to tackle.”

Often we start around the circle and the first person says, “How am I really doing? I'm good. I had a fantastic private time with God this morning, my relational world is rich, I'm feeling strong and energized about the things I'm involved in, and I'm glad to be here with you all. I'm good.”

The next person takes his turn. “How am I doing … really? Well, not that great, to be perfectly honest. Right after this meeting, my wife and I are taking our son to see a specialist. Things aren't any better on the health front, and I'm pretty weighted down in my spirit.”

Once everyone has had a turn, we pray for each situation—the good, the bad, and the ugly. The experience doesn't take that long, but the result is significant. As we move into the business portion of the meeting, we feel understood as individuals and unified as a team. — Bill Hybels, Axiom: Powerful Leadership Proverbs (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2008).

9.       Can you think of a time when the church helped you bear your burdens? Who has a story?

Years ago, one senior leader on our team had three teenage sons who were all great kids deep down but limit-pushers by personality. Each week he'd entertain us with their latest acts of terror; eventually I'd bait the update by kicking off the meeting with, “Well, what did Bobby smoke this week?” We'd all have a good laugh, but beneath all the kidding around, he knew our care was sincere. He knew that we wanted his family to win, and in a strange way, I think joking with his teammates about the struggles he and his wife faced in raising their boys gave him added strength for the journey.

Another of our colleagues walked through the loss of her aging father in full view of our team. Over a long five-year period, the situation digressed from her stopping by his home every night to feed him, to moving him into a retirement community, to hiring assisted-living care, to having to wipe drool off his face as he slumped in his wheelchair, to near-fatal falls and other emergencies. Every one of us attended her dad's funeral. We sat right by her side, which is where we'd been since day one. What an honor. To this day, she says those short bursts of dialogue about the most important thing going on in her life were balm to her heart every single week.

Sure, you'll have to limit the “talkers” on the team, draw out the quiet types, and rally near-supernatural strength to encourage ones who have been dealt a leveling blow. But as you work to create an atmosphere of genuine community, you'll keep your hearts tender toward each other, you'll keep your collective prayers more focused, and you'll keep the “church” in church work. — Bill Hybels, Axiom: Powerful Leadership Proverbs (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2008).

10.   Verse 3. What keeps us from bearing one another’s burdens?

“I’m too important to bear someone else’s burdens,” some say.

It has been wisely said that to determine how important you are, stick your finger into a bucket of water, pull it out, and see how long it takes to fill the hole. We all have a tendency to think we’re irreplaceable—but we’re not. Paul doesn’t say we deceive ourselves if we are nothing. He says we deceive ourselves because we are nothing. — Jon Courson, Jon Courson’s Application Commentary (Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, 2003), 1215–1216.

11.   What about occasionally asking someone to help bear your burden? Do any of you have a hard time asking for help? Which is more difficult—to volunteer to help others, or to admit you have a need for help?

The next class is a 301 level course in the Graduate School of Endurance, and quite frankly, it’s a part of the curriculum that most Christian leaders never get around to taking.

This class is based on Galatians 6:2, “Bear each other’s burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ.” When I meet leaders who have led passionately for a long time, they can usually tell me (in graphic detail) of the time when they made the transition from being self-sufficient, independent types to becoming people who lean deeply into community. They usually describe a breaking point when their frustration came to an all-time high and their despair was at an all-time low. But just when they were on the brink of taking the big dive they decided to say a simple four-letter word: Help. They said to someone they trusted, “Please help me. This one’s a heart-wrecker. I can’t handle this alone. Someone has to help me bear this burden.”

Even Jesus, the most resilient leader who ever lived, said to a small group of friends, “My soul is deeply grieved to the point of death. Would some of you please stay with me? Would you be with me? Would you help me?” (Matthew 26:38, my paraphrase).

Jesus was freely admitting his need for safe people. Eventually all of us leaders will have to do the same. Sustainability demands it.

I’m the first one to admit that church work confuses relational worlds more than any other profession. As Christians, we’re all supposed to love each other, be brothers and sisters to each other, pray for each other, and generally support and watch out for each other. But get a church leader off to the side and ask the questions, “Do you really have a safe person you can turn to in trying times? Do you have someone to whom you could admit your thoughts about bailing out of ministry? Is there anybody to whom you could confess the escapist sins that are becoming very tantalizing to you again? Is there anybody you trust enough to tell them anything?”

Ask a hundred Christian leaders those questions and an alarmingly high percentage will stare at their shoes and say, “No.” They may say they have prayer partners or they periodically participate in a small group, but very few church leaders can even imagine relating to a few friends in a deeply intimate way.

This causes me great concern. I don’t want to be a prophet of doom, but I am afraid that a steady stream of church leaders are going to disappear — tragically — from the rosters of kingdom leadership unless they commit themselves to discovering safe people and leaning into those relationships. Our hearts were not built to handle the hardships and heartbreaks of ministry alone. We need to link up with a few folks who can help us bear the heavy burdens of our lives. — Bill Hybels, Courageous Leadership (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2009).

12.   What are we to do if one of us wanders from the faith? What does this passage teach?

You would think that, after observing the behavior of some people, they have a verse in their Bible that says, “Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, go and tell as many people as possible. And then ultimately go and try to drive that person away.” But this is not what Scripture tells us to do.

In Matthew 18, Jesus gave us the steps we should take when it appears someone has fallen into sin (and I emphasize the word appears). First, we must know all the facts. When you hear something about someone, instead of talking about it, determine to go to that person and say, “I heard this about you. Is it true?” Hopefully, you can get the issue resolved immediately.

But to fail to go to someone when you know a sin is being committed is to actually cause that individual, and the church as a whole, the greatest harm. Scripture says, “A little leaven leavens the whole lump (Galatians 5: 9 NLT). In most cases, you will find that believers rarely approach a sinning believer or allegedly sinning believer. Instead of seeking to help a person who possibly may have never sinned at all, they end up slandering that individual. This is wrong. If you have ever had this happen to you, then you know how painful it can be.

Remember, the devil wants to turn believers against each other. He will attack us from the outside, but many times, when that does not work, he seeks to infiltrate our ranks and divide us. — Greg Laurie, For Every Season: Daily Devotions (Dana Point, CA: Kerygma Publishing—Allen David Books, 2011).

13.   Verse 7. How have you seen this illustrated in your life personally? Who has a story?

Many years ago, Chinese farmers theorized that they could eat their big potatoes and keep the small potatoes for seed. Consequently, they ate the big potatoes and planted the small potatoes. As a result of this practice for many years, the Chinese farmers made the startling discovery: nature had reduced all their potatoes to the size of marbles. A new understanding of the law of life came to these farmers. They learned through bitter experience that they could not have the best things of life for themselves and use the leftovers for seed. The law of life decreed that the harvest would reflect the planting. In another sense, planting small potatoes is still a common practice. We take the big things of life for ourselves and plant the leftovers. We expect that by some crazy twist of spiritual laws, our selfishness will be rewarded with unselfishness. But we cannot eat the big potatoes and have them, too! What size potatoes have you been planting spiritually? “Be not deceived; God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that shall he also reap” (Gal. 6:7). — AMG Bible Illustrations, Bible Illustrations Series (Chattanooga: AMG Publishers, 2000).

14.   What is the application of this memorable verse?

The iron law of the universe is spelled out in Galatians 6:7 “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.” You reap what you sow every single time. You reap what you sow, even if you pray for something different. If you plant corn and pray for beans you will get corn.

We have churches all across North America that are asking to be the exception fo this rule. They get together on Wednesday night and pray for revival and pray for the lost and pray the church will grow and the kingdom will advance. Then they go right out and do exactly what they have been doing. They keep planting the same seeds. They are not getting what they pray for; they are getting what the plant.

I saw this poster on a church wall one time:

I.Y.K.D.W.Y.B.D.
YOU WILL
K.G.W.Y.B.G.

Can you work out what it means? If you keep doing what you been doing you will keep getting what you been getting. Indeed. Every single time. Even if you want something different.

If you do this year what you did last year you will get next year what you got this year. Every single time. That is the law of sowing and reaping. — Josh Hunt, The Amazing Power of Doubling Groups, 2001.

15.   This is not just talking about sowing physical seed. What is it talking about sowing?

The Bible clearly teaches that we will reap what we sow. This is so simple, but it can be difficult to put into practice. We sow first, and then we reap. Nowhere is this more apparent than in our thinking. In Galatians 6:7 we are told, “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap” (NKJV). In 2 Corinthians 9:6, we are warned that if we sow sparingly, we will naturally also reap sparingly, but if we sow bountifully, we will reap bountifully.

Our thoughts, like our actions, have consequences. As relentlessly as you may try, you cannot think one thing and experience something else. You cannot think critically about your spouse, even if you believe it is warranted, and reap true intimacy. You cannot think negatively and live positively any more than you can plant apple seeds and expect to harvest oranges. If you desire to live a joy-filled life—a life that fulfills God’s purpose for you—you must keep your thoughts fixed on the things of God. — Tommy Newberry, 40 Days to a Joy-Filled Life: Living the 4:8 Principle (Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale, 2012).

16.   Verse 9. Is it possible to sow and not reap? Look carefully.

Many times preachers will say, “What we sow we reap.” Paul says that it is possible to sow and not reap the benefits. How? by not holding steady and being patient enough to wait.

Many times I have heard runners talk about the “highs” they receive in running. (It is hard to convince me of their claim when I observe the grimaces on their faces as they run.) Once they receive their “second wind,” they feel like they could run all day. Their secret? Run until you get your second wind. The first part is difficult and painful. The last part is easier and fruitful. — John C. Maxwell, The Winning Attitude (Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, 1993), 62.

17.   Steven Covey said, “Sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny.” Do you agree? Do you think this is a biblical idea? What is the application?

Is it possible to be joy filled without thinking thoughts of joy? Is it possible to worry without thinking worrisome thoughts? Can you be afraid without thinking fearful thoughts? Can you remember a time when you were thinking of hope and happiness but felt depressed at the same time? Can you imagine acting loving while thinking bitter thoughts of anger and resentment? The simple answer is no.

The importance of right thinking is emphasized throughout the Old and New Testaments. In Proverbs, we are taught that “as [a person] thinks in his heart, so is he” (23:7, NKJV) and also that we must “keep [our] heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life” (4:23, NKJV).

Jesus repeatedly reminds us that what we receive will be the result of what we believe. He underscores this point in the Sermon on the Mount when he teaches that even to think lustful thoughts is a sin, yet if “your eye is good, your whole body is filled with light” (Matthew 6:22, NLT). In Matthew 15:18, we’re taught that people are defiled or made unclean not by what they eat but by what is in their hearts—in other words, by the way they think.

Jesus knew well that persistent thoughts eventually lead to action. So did Paul, who encourages us to “take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5, NIV). Can you imagine a negative, cynical, self-defeating, or “woe is me” thought being obedient to Jesus Christ? — Tommy Newberry, 40 Days to a Joy-Filled Life: Living the 4:8 Principle (Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale, 2012).

18.   Verse 9. Do you ever feel weary in well-doing? What causes that? What can you do about it?

Are you close to quitting? Please don’t do it. Are you discouraged as a parent? Hang in there. Are you weary with doing good? Do just a little more. Are you pessimistic about your job? Roll up your sleeves and go at it again. No communication in your marriage? Give it one more shot. Can’t resist temptation? Accept God’s forgiveness and go one more round. Is your day framed with sorrow and disappointment? Are your tomorrows turning into nevers? Is hope a forgotten word?

Remember, a finisher is not one with no wounds or weariness. Quite to the contrary, he, like the boxer, is scarred and bloody.

The Land of Promise, says Jesus, awaits those who endure. It is not just for those who make the victory laps or drink champagne. No sir. The Land of Promise is for those who simply remain to the end. — NO WONDER THEY CALL HIM THE SAVIOR / Max Lucado, God’s Promises® for You: Scripture Selections from Max Lucado (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2007).

19.   Verse 10. What are some practical ways we can apply this verse?

Kind hearts are quietly kind. They let the car cut into traffic and the young mom with three kids move up in the checkout line. They pick up the neighbor’s trash can that rolled into the street. And they are especially kind at church. They understand that perhaps the neediest person they’ll meet all week is the one standing in the foyer or sitting on the row behind them in worship. — Max Lucado, Everyday Blessings: Inspirational Thoughts from the Published Works of Max Lucado. (Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, Inc., 2004).

20.   What do you want to recall from today’s conversation?

21.   How can we support one another in prayer this week?